


The Truth Is, I Love You Too

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Everybody Dies, F/M, First Kiss, Frerard, Gerard Dies, I Tried, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lack of Communication, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Red String of Fate, Self-Harm, Soulmates, Suicide, Triggers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Gerard loved Frank to the point where he gave up his life for him.And Frank realized his mistake too late; Gerard was already gone.(I'm sorry I suck at summaries...)
Relationships: Frank Iero & Gerard Way, Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Frank Iero/Jamia Nestor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	The Truth Is, I Love You Too

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a boy I like, but I decided to publish it here nonetheless; sorry if it sucks. Please leave kudos and tell me if you liked it though, I'd really appreciate it! :)

Red strings of fate. So beautiful, yet so deceiving; people can’t see them, so they just made up that the person they loved most was their soulmate, even if it wasn’t true. They’re invisible and thin, they can tangle and stretch, but they can never tear; they’re the strongest material and they represent combability between the two people, the love, feelings and intimacy between them.  
The softer the string was, the more feelings were between the two connected people. And the more colorful and vibrant it was, the more intimacy they shared.  
The person who’s string has been cut, would die in 24 hours if the string isn’t fused back, but here was the trick; if the soulmates whose strings were supposed to be fused weren’t compatible, they wouldn’t grow together and they would both die. Well, not really die, they will disappear and decay into thin air, becoming nothing more but ashes, left there to be blown away with the wind; they’d become nothing.  
However, if one of the pairing died, the string would turn black, but the other one would live onward.

Ever since he was kid, Gerard could see them, and at first, he was terrified of them. But his grandmother explained the whole situation to him, because she could see them too, and he learned the danger his ability represented; he could cut strings apart if he wanted. But he never had the intention to mess with them, and he wouldn’t do it for anyone. It was against the laws of nature to mess with that, and his grandma warned him about the consequences; ending people’s lives and hurting their loved ones.

From the day he learned about the strings and what they meant, Gerard’s favorite hobby was twirling his own string between his fingers, just like he was doing now, and thinking about his future with his soulmate. Who were they, were they a boy or a girl, what did they like, what were they like, would they hate him, and so on.

Gerard could remember the day he met his soulmate so vividly, almost like it happened yesterday and not more than twenty years ago.

…

_‘The strings will lead you to whoever you’re destined to spend your life with, Gerard.’ His grandmother’s words echoed in his head as he ran towards the playground in the park. His gran was a wise woman and Gerard loved her like a second mother. She told him what the scary strings weren’t really scary, and he didn’t have a reason to fear them, because they represented love and life. There was no reason for him to be afraid of them or playing with them; as long as he doesn’t cut them._

_Cutting a string of fate was possible, but it came with consequences. One couldn’t just the string apart because they wanted a new soulmate or because they wanted to mess with the universe, because only a few people had the ability to see and alter the connection between the strings, cut them and fuse them back together._

_Gerard’s train of thoughts was interrupted when he saw the person his string was connected to; it was the neighbor’s son, and the two played together once or twice. But when he was all alone in that sandbox, he seemed so fragile and small, and Gerard made a promise to himself that he’d always try his best to make him happy, no matter what._

_“Hi,” Gerard awkwardly waved and smiled, not really used to human interaction. He was an awkward antisocial kid with longer hair and a weird style, so others often made fun of him and he didn’t really know how to make friends._

_“Are you going to make fun of me too?” The smaller boy sniffled and turned his back on Gerard after shooting him a glare. “Then go away.”_

_“Actually, I was more hoping to play with you… You seem so lonely.”_

_Gerard has never before seen such disbelief and hope in anyone’s eyes before; it was obvious that the smaller boy didn’t have many friends either. They shined so brightly in contrast with the boy’s raven black hair, and his eager smile when he nodded made Gerard’s day better immediately._

_“Oh, I remember you! You’re that neighbor that’s always nice to me. Sure, we can play. I’m Frank, by the way.”_

_“Gerard,” he smiled back and sat down next to the boy as they made sandcastles in silence, letting the warm breeze ruffle their hair from time to time._

_For the first time in a while, Gerard felt peaceful even in silence. Usually, he’d wait for the yelling to start again, but he knew Frank was different. And even silence felt like a conversation with him; they almost communicated simply with their movements, their eyes and smiles._

_Gerard’s hazel eyes were always on Frank; following his hands, looking at the way his eyes changed color depending on the shadow his face threw, checking out his adorable face and dedication to finishing his castle. He saw their pinkies connected with a thin, red string and he wondered; would he ever get to be happy with him? Or was he hoping for too much?_

_After a few hours, Frank’s parents came to get him, obviously pleased that he made a friend. He waved a quick goodbye to Gerard with a slight smile and without exchanging any words, Gerard knew; they could meet at the sandbox the next day as well._

…

The memory stung like a bee, especially since Gerard now knew how it would turn out. With him hopelessly falling in love with Frank at a young age already. But even if he knew how hurt he’d be because of it back then; he’d do it again, over and over. He’d fall in love with him again. There was nothing in this world he’d ever trade for Frank, even if knew the man didn’t love him back.

He finally grasped his string firmly and pitied how soft it was. It seemed so easy to break, but Gerard knew it was stronger, the strongest material he knew of; he tried to tear it apart before, in a moment of weakness. It was made of love and pure willpower and feelings that would or did grow between the two people connected, but no matter what, the string wouldn’t tear, not on its own.

That’s why it was so dangerous to cut it apart and fuse it with another person because the feelings and interests didn’t match. It was a perfect opportunity for a disaster and a toxic, even abusive relationship. Wrong people, wrong feelings… It all resulted in a catastrophe. Especially if the strings were compatible between the other two soulmates.

Gerard’s fingers slid down the string and tugged on it slightly, watching it stretch and shrink back like numerous times before.

The red string was so willing, so obedient and gullible, it bent and twisted, stretched and tangled, but it never broke. It could only be cut apart, but the person whose string was cut would die within 24 hours. That’s why his grandmother warned him about this; she didn’t want her grandson walking around playing a matchmaker and destroying peoples lives, even killing them if they weren’t compatible.

As much as Gerard was grateful to his grandmother for sharing her wisdom with him, he knew it would come to this one day. He had to break the only rule she practically begged him not to, all because he was so in love, he’d risk his life to make his soulmate happy.

…

_“Sup, Gee,” Frank walked into the kitchen as if he was at home – well, the Way household was practically his other home, since he spent a lot of time there – and opened the fridge. He knew Gerard’s parents weren’t at home yet, so he took some food out of it and just started eating._

_“Hey, Frank. Wanna play some video games?”_

_That was usually what the two boys did, through the whole middle school they met up at Gerard’s place and played video games non-stop. But now that they started high school, things weren’t as easy as before and Frank was already failing math due to his love for partying. Gerard didn’t share the same feeling for socializing, drugs, alcohol and girls._

_“Actually… I need your help,” the smaller one admitted, lowering his head in shame._

_“Sure, what is it?” Gerard paused his video game, letting Frank know he was the center of his attention._

_“I need help with math. I can’t afford another negative grade; my parents would kill me! Please help me Gee,” Frank almost cried out, feeling really hopeless at this point if he was asking Gerard._

_“Yes, of course. Wanna go to my room and study there?” He offered, surprised his friend wanted to fix his grades. Well, he knew his parents were quite strict when it came to his grades, but that was all there was; they let him get tattoos, smoke, drink and have piercings. Gerard knew he’d be kicked out if he ever came home like that._

_“Sure,” Frank’s smile brightened up the room as he practically jumped at his best friend, hugging him and clutching onto him like a koala._

_Gerard’s smile was followed by a blush as he grabbed their backpacks and carried the smaller one to his room. He was glad he could help, and he felt his heart flutter when his soulmate rested his chin on the top of the brunet’s head._

_The two studied math and Gerard was actually surprised when he noticed Frank’s actually putting effort into listening to his explanations. His eyebrows were frowned in confusion most of the time, but when he finally understood something, his whole face lit up and he beamed brighter than the sun._

_“We’re done,” Gerard yawned and looked at the clock. 11:54 PM. His eyes widened in shock and he started packing Frank’s notebooks and pencils. “Frankie, the time! You have to get home before your parents freak out!”_

_“Actually… I told them I’m spending the night at your place,” Frank explained, giggling when Gerard let out a breath of relief. “I told them we’d study, so they said it’s okay…”_

_“You should’ve told me that earlier and I would’ve put out a bed for you!”_

_“I can sleep on the couch, no biggie,” Frank shrugged and took off his tight jeans, deciding to sleep only in his oversized shirt (that he stole from Gerard)._

_“No way, man. I’m not letting you sleep on the couch; you can sleep with me.” It took Gerard a few seconds to realize what he said, but before he could take it back or rephrase the sentence, Frank already climbed in the bed with him and left him speechless and blushing._

_“I still have to turn off the light, Frankie…”_

_Frank groaned as he finally got comfortable, but moved, nonetheless. Neither of them wanted to sleep with the light on._

_Gerard knew Frank was fast asleep; as soon as he got comfortable again, the light was off and his head hit the pillow, he was already asleep. The brunet, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep in the slightest._

_His soulmate and crush was pressed against him, their bodies fitting together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle. He could feel his steady heartbeat, noticing how their hearts were beating in the same rhythm, as if they were one. He could hear his soft snores and they were making him sleepier than any lullaby he ever heard. One look at his peaceful face and Gerard knew; he once again fell hopelessly in love with the boy in his arms, as if he hasn’t before. And he knew one day that would be the end of him._

_Frank shifted in his sleep and ended up with his face buried in Gerard’s chest, his hands around his torso and their legs tangled. The brunet fell in love with the raven-haired boy even more, if possible, as he kissed his black locks and wrapped his arms around him._

_If there was one thing Gerard wished for, it was that this never ended. He knew now that this was the feeling of love and he didn’t want to let it go; he knew it would hurt too much if he did. He fell asleep within seconds of holding the boy close._

_It was the best night of the brunet’s life and he cherished it forever. He wished the two could always sleep in each other’s embrace, but he knew his wish was one-sided; Frank was straight and maybe even – since he grew up in a very religious family – homophobic. And even if he liked boys in the slightest, Gerard wouldn’t be his type, he was sure of that._

_“Morning sunshine,” Frank smiled when Gerard opened his eyes, squinting at the smaller boy whose smile was way too bright for a Wednesday morning._

_“You drew on my face, didn’t you,” Gerard sighed, knowing it was true. He didn’t ask a question and Frank didn’t say no. “Did you at least sleep well?”_

_“Like a baby, actually. Thanks for that, I… I needed it,” Frank admitted, a slight blush flushing his cheeks when he told the taller boy that._

_“Anytime, Frankie, anytime…”_

_Gerard couldn’t even stay mad at his soulmate, even if he used one of his best markers and drew on his face while he was asleep. He always forgave Frank for everything, and it wasn’t a big deal anyway._

_“Again, thanks for helping me with math, Gee, you’re the best. By the way, can I borrow some of your clothes?” He didn’t wait for a reply, and just picked out some stuff that looked slightly big – but very, very cute – on him._

…

A tear slid down the brunet’s face as he remembered how the smaller one’s body fit well with his. He missed the feeling of holding him close and his warmth, his sincere laugh whenever he’d tickle him, and his excited voice filled with raw emotion when he’d tell him about whatever interesting happened in school. Usually, it’d be about cute girls he saw, and it’d break Gerard’s heart, day by day more and more, but he’d grown used to it. It just confirmed his assumptions anyway.

Gerard untangled his string from his fingers and watched it fall toward the floor. It never touched it. Surprisingly, strings never touched the ground. Gerard looked through his window into the neighbor’s house, where his string led. He and Frank remained neighbors even after they moved and even after he got together with his soon to be wife.

He grabbed the other string, that was tangled around his chair so it wouldn’t slip away, that also leading into the neighbor’s house, and somewhere towards the east. It was Frank’s fiancée’s string; it wasn’t as bendy and soft as theirs, but it was more vibrant in color; it meant they shared more intimacy. Gerard wondered who it belonged to, but sadly, he knew he’d never get the chance to find out.

He still couldn’t believe Frank asked him to break a law of nature for him, yet his love for him was so deep, he decided to do it and possibly kill himself in the process.

…

_“Gee, do you believe in soulmates?”_

_That was an incredibly stupid question to ask someone who could see the red strings, but the brunet still nodded; it wasn’t like Frank knew about his ability._

_“Yeah, I do… Why though?”_

_“I met this girl today in a café while studying… She’s really sweet, and I know she probably has me wrapped around her finger, but I feel like she’s the one, y’know?”_

_“She’s not,” the brunet’s voice was soft and slightly raspy from holding back tears, but Frank didn’t notice; Gerard’s heart shattered into a million pieces, but he still talked about that girl. It wasn’t like Frank knew about the brunet’s feelings for him, it wasn’t like he could ever feel the same way Gerard did, and it wasn’t that Gerard felt so jealous he’d be ready to kill her if he didn’t care about Frank’s happiness as much as he did._

_“What do you mean ‘she’s not’?! You don’t even know her!” Frank’s short temper got him mad immediately, ready to punch Gerard for talking shit if needed. Oh yeah, he was definitely in love…_

_“I know you won’t believe me, but I can see them, okay? I can see the red strings of fate and she’s not your soulmate.” He had to bite his tongue not to finish with ‘I am’, because he knew the household Frank grew up in and he knew he wouldn’t accept the fact his best friend wanted to kiss him and hold him close, he wouldn’t accept that he wanted to take him on dates and bake cookies with him at 3 AM when they can’t sleep, he wouldn’t accept that he loved him. And it broke Gerard’s heart._

_“That’s bullshit. Why can’t I, then, hm? What makes you so fucking special in that case, Gerard?”_

_Frank never used his full name. That’s how Gerard knew he was pissed off, ready to fight and in love with the girl he met. He wanted to cry, fuck, he wanted to just cry his eyes out, stay in bed till he felt better and eat ice cream straight out of the container. But he’d never cry in front of Frank. Ever._

_“I don’t know,” he whispered, and his hazel eyes met Frank’s. Whenever Gerard was telling the truth while talking to someone, he’d look them in the eyes._

_Frank’s expression changed immediately. It was a mixture of guilt and shame, and he looked away from the other man, whose eyes were shining from tearing up and still looking his way._

_“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell I just…”_

_“It’s okay Frank, don’t worry.”_

_“Why didn’t you ever tell me about this? We’ve been friends for what, at least fifteen years!” Frank made sure to put the emphasis on the word ‘least’. He was upset about this whole thing, but mostly because his friend didn’t tell him that; they shared everything, from homework to food and even bed._

_“You wouldn’t have believed me.”_

_“You could’ve helped me find my soulmate!”_

_Gerard bit his tongue again so hard it bled, preventing himself from screaming ‘I’m your soulmate, you dumbass!’_

_“You wouldn’t like them… Not as a lover at least,” he finally choked out, hating himself for telling the altered truth. He just twisted his words but put in his feelings; he knew Frank could never like a weirdo like himself as more than a friend, and in all honesty, Gerard was surprised he liked him as a friend in the first place._

_“How do you know that?” Now Frank was about to cry too, his voice already breaking._

_“Because they’re a man!”_

_An awkward silence fell between the two after Gerard yelled out those words, and he regretted it immediately, wishing he could take them back and make up a lie, like… They’re dead or something like that._

_“I’m not homophobic like my parents, Gee, in fact, I’m bisexual. Thought you’d know that… Y’know, since you’re my best friend and all.” Frank didn’t even attempt to hide the disappointment and venom in his voice._

_“You still wouldn’t like them as a lover, trust me…”_

_“Can you at least tell me who it is?”_

_“Maybe one day… Not today though, sorry… You go talk to your little girlfriend,” Gerard’s voice contained jealousy and snark, but Frank didn’t notice. Probably because it was, unlike the venom and disappointment in his earlier, well hidden._

_“How? Now I know she’s not my soulmate, so how can I even act not disappointed around her? I thought we had something more, something special since she made me feel so wanted…”_

_“Go talk to her, Frank, take her on a date. If you two end up getting married, I’ll fix it, okay? I’ll cut the strings apart and fuse them and you will be soulmates if you’ll want.”_

_“You’d do that?! Holy shit, Gee! You’re awesome,” Frank hugged his best friend with a beaming smile, no longer upset about the secrets his friend kept from him._

_“You didn’t let me finish. There’s a chance your and her soulmate might die though; if the strings aren’t compatible and the persons are too different from one another, they won’t fuse, and they will die. Are you willing to take on a risk like that?” Gerard looked Frank in the eyes again, completely serious. It was fucking dangerous to play with laws of nature like that and he had to warn him._

_“I’ll tell you on my wedding night if I want you to do that, okay?” He gulped nervously and left Gerard’s apartment to hang out with the girl that caught his eye._

_The second he left, Gerard broke down crying harder than ever, harder than he cried when his grandmother died._

_He was physically hurt, clutching his fist around his heart, wishing to rip it out if it’d make it stop hurting so damn much. He was aware that, despite the fact he and Frank belonged together, his soulmate would find another one to love, but he never knew it’d hurt so much. It felt like he got hit by a truck, or maybe even a train. And it was only getting worse._

_His heart was shattered into a million pieces, almost to dust, like a glass smashed with a hammer. It hurt him so damn much and he couldn’t even think straight anymore as he downed the bottle of whiskey, trying to drown the pain. If only the alcohol made the hurt better and not worse, right? Sadly, that wasn’t the case. It made him feel like he was in burning in hell with agony, and fuck if he didn’t deserve it._

_“It’s going to be a long night,” Gerard muttered to himself with tears still streaming down his cheeks and opened another bottle of whiskey, spending no time and downing it as fast as he could._

…

Gerard still couldn’t believe he was going through with this. He knew he was crazy enough to do anything Frank asked him to, but mess with the laws of nature and possibly kill another person?

He took a deep breath and prepared to cut the strings apart; it was around 1 AM and in twenty-four hours, he’d die, taking another person with him; all of that to make Frank happy. He just hoped he’d be compatible with Jamia’s soulmate, otherwise they’re fucked.

Just as he was about to snap the scissors, he noticed Jamia’s string turned black, blackness coming from the east; her soulmate died. Which meant he couldn’t fuse the strings together and he’d die, but Gerard didn’t really care; he wouldn’t kill another person and he wouldn’t have to watch Frank live happily with the love of his life while he still had no one who’d fill the hole in his heart that Frank unknowingly made.

…

_Gerard knew Frank asked Jamia to marry him. He knew she said yes. And he knew the wedding was in a few days. So why was he more surprised, shocked and horrified when Frank asked him to fuse his and Jamia’s string together than he was when he asked him to be his best man months ago, when he knew his friend was so in love?_

_“Please, Gee?” Frank gave him the puppy eyes and stuck out his bottom lip, knowing damn well Gerard wouldn’t say no to that._

_“Fine. I’ll do it. But he’ll be there, okay? He’ll be on your wedding. That’s my only condition.”_

_“Okay.”_

_If there was one thing Gerard couldn’t do, is die without letting him know they were meant to be. He decided that he’ll tell him just before he decays into ashes, knowing he wouldn’t be able to live with the shame of falling for his best friend._

_If he’s being honest, Gerard always knew he’d die for his soulmate. Since day one, he had a feeling he’d do the craziest things for Frank and give up his own life for him; only because he loved too much and too hard. And it’d kill him. He never knew how; he just knew it would. Because he was hopelessly and helplessly in love with his soulmate, he’d do everything others wouldn’t be ready to do. He’d jump in font of the car for him; he already has (and he spent a week in the hospital, but he didn’t regret it; as long as Frank was safe, he was happy)._

…

The scissors finally snapped the strings apart and Gerard fused Frank and Jamia’s together. It fused almost immediately, a soothing glow shining as it grew together. Gerard put a timer on his watch; 24 hours before… He didn’t even want to think about it, but on the other hand, he couldn’t help but worry.

Would it hurt? What would happen after? Would Frank even miss him? Those questions kept him up the whole night, but luckily, the wedding was in the afternoon, so he still got some sleep.

He knew he was slightly late, but they couldn’t start without him; he had the ring.

“Dude, where were you?!” Ray hissed at him as he joined them at the altar, fixing his tie calmly.

“I had to take care of some things,” Gerard replied, eyeing Frank meaningfully. Frank nodded, a grateful smile playing on his lips. He may die, but Frank’s happiness was more important to him than his own life. He knew his best friend dying would break his heart, but at least he had Jamia now. She’d make it easier to get through the pain.

“Jamia Nestor, do you take Frank Iero to be your husband in good and bad, sickness and health, life and death?”

“I do.” Gerard lip-synced the words he wanted to say out loud, but he knew he couldn’t. Not only Frank’s parents wouldn’t accept it, but Frank also didn’t love him. Not like Gerard loved the raven-haired man.

Gerard’s lip-syncing didn’t go unnoticed by Ray, who quickly connected two and two. He nudged the brunet and gave him a questioning look, motioning between the groom and him with his head. Gerard nodded sadly and noticed the sympathy in Ray’s eyes.

“And you, Frank Iero, do you take Jamia Nestor for your wife?”

“I do.”

Tears gathered in Gerard’s eyes once again, threatening to spill. He wanted to be in Jamia’s place so badly, he yearned for it so much it hurt him, but he knew he couldn’t. Frank loved her and they were happy, so Gerard had absolutely no right to ruin that. He’d die in… 4 hours anyway. It didn’t even matter anymore.

“Is there anyone that opposes this marriage? If so, speak up now.”

For a brief moment, Gerard wanted to scream, he wanted to tell everyone he loved Frank more than anything, more than Jamia, but he decided against it. It would be a very stupid thing to do, but hasn’t he done something stupid less than 20 hours ago?

“You may kiss the bride.”

A tear fell as his heart was ripped to shreds when he watched his former soulmate kiss his wife with the brightest smile ever, but he knew he had to be a supportive friend and cheer for Frank, so he bit back the tears and smiled as brightly as he could, clapping and wiping his “happy” tears away.

After the ceremony and before the food, Gerard found Frank smoking on the balcony. He took the offered cigarette in silence and lit it, hoping his red and puffy eyes weren’t too obvious.

“Thank you.” Frank was the first to speak.

“For?”

“Everything. The thing with soulmates – I already feel more connected to Jamia – and for just… Being my friend. And my best man. I don’t know where I’d be without you, Gee.” Frank’s voice broke at the end, but Gerard couldn’t blame him. It was an emotional night for him, and the smaller man was never the best with handling emotions, but guilt washed over the taller man when he heard those words and he shifted awkwardly. However, that went unnoticed by Frank.

“By the way… My and Jamia’s soulmate, did their strings fuse?”

“No… Jamia’s soulmate died last night. The string turned black. Your soulmate will die in about… Two hours. I’m sorry.”

“Can I at least meet them? Before they, you know… Die?” Frank’s voice was so small and fragile, and he seemed so scared. He thought he killed someone for the sake of his happiness, but little did he know that someone willingly gave up his life for it.

“Meet me back here at, like, a quarter to one, okay? We’ll be waiting…”

Frank, nodded in response and walked back inside, as pale as a wall. Gerard focused on the stars in the night sky, wondering how many of them were actually dead but they didn’t know yet because they were so far away.

He liked to compare himself to stars. They were created when something broke or shattered, and they were destined to die and burn out; sooner or later. He, too, was born and destined to die; just like a star. That must’ve been it, why else would he love so hard? Why else would he so willingly take his own fucking life at such a young age for his soulmate’s happiness?

He went back inside and waited for time to pass, talking and trying to socialize, but he kept one of his eyes on his watch constantly. Just before he walked out to meet up with Frank, Ray stopped him.

“You love him, don’t you?”

“More than anything in this world.” Ray couldn’t understand the thing about the strings, even if Gerard told him; there wasn’t enough time anyway. “Goodbye, Ray. You were a good friend.”

Ray must have understood that it was a goodbye forever, even if he didn’t know what exactly was he talking about, because he nodded, hugged Gerard and let him go.

Frank was impatiently waiting on the balcony, walking up and down and muttering to himself.

“Gerard? Where is he?”

There was silence and a painful expression shifted from on Frank’s scared one once he realized.

“You… It was you all along…”

A slow nod came from Gerard as tears gathered in his eyes for the second time that night.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Frank was crying hysterically, his screaming voice breaking almost every word while sobs were shaking his body. “And now you… Now you’re going to die,” he whispered and backed away.

“Frank-”

“I should’ve never asked you to cut the strings, oh Gerard, I’m so sorry! I’m such a fucking dumbass!” Tears were streaming down Frank’s face and Gerard knew it was his fault.

“Frank, listen to me,” Gerard’s voice broke a bit when he took a step towards the smaller man and wrapped his arms around him, their watery eyes meeting. “And listen carefully.”

“I love you. I always have and I always will. You lit up my world, every single day, Frank. I’ve loved you for your good traits, your kindness, positivity and brightness, and I’ve loved you for your not so good ones, your short temper, your negativity in some situations and your flaws; not once has it ever crossed my mind anything that could make me hate or dislike you. I love you because you always find the right words to say, I love you because you always make my day, I love you because there’s only good in your heart and I love you because I was able to find you. I’d gladly take my life for your safety and happiness any day, over and over again. And most importantly, Frank Iero, I love you because you are you, and you don’t let anything define you, you always do what’s best and what’s right. And oh god, your laugh and your smile, Frankie. I was hooked from the first day…”

His tears were dripping on Gerard’s jacket through the speech, making him cry harder and harder with every word Gerard let out. He didn’t know any other way to react than to cry; cry for the feelings he didn’t realize his friend had for him and the fact that it was his fault, his idea to cut the strings and now it led to Gerard’s death.

Gerard’s hand found Frank’s and their fingers intertwined; they fit together like a puzzle, just like their bodies. Gerard kissed Frank’s forehead and touched it gently with his own, and the tears in his eyes spilled over the edge as he closed them to whisper his last words with a broken smile.

“… And I will always love you. I always have and I always will, Frankie.”

Frank watched with horror as Gerard turned to dust in front of him with the saddest smile he had ever seen of his former soulmate’s face, knowing there’s nothing he can do. He tried to grasp Gerard with his hands, but he couldn’t; Gerard was gone, reduced to ashes, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

His death wasn’t inevitable, and Frank was aware that if he hadn’t been so blind, he could’ve saved him. If he knew Gerard was his soulmate and he loved him so much, he knew he’d never ask him to do that and he could’ve kept his best friend, but he just had to be selfish enough to mess with the laws of nature and screw up, as always. And if he wasn’t such a crybaby, he could’ve told him to tie their strings back together, he could have saved him. But he didn’t. He didn’t do it because he was scared, because he was already mourning his friend’s death before it even happened.

Frank sat there, on the cold balcony in the cloudy, chilly night right next to Gerard’s ashes for hours, crying his heart out, for he never even got the chance to tell him;

“If you told me this before I got married, I would’ve dropped everything for you, because the truth is; I love you too.”


End file.
